I have wanted to write about this very subject for a long time. However, it comes at a time of year when everyone feels a little stretched by expectations and additional social engagements so I have never quite found the time. This year I am willing it because I feel it is so vitally important. Especially now that my children are nearly adults and my greatest social experiment is now bearing fruit. My children reflect honestly on their childhood in valuable ways to share what they loved most and particularly about Christmas.

The jury is not out! It is unequivocally special one-on-one time, building unique family traditions that they most loved. I will just say that again slowly because I didn’t quite believe it myself. They talk about the things we did together, the favourite foods we shared, the closeness and the fun. Not one single materialistic present is remembered as valued by them. Not one!

They don’t know about my frenzied last-minute guilt purchases because I couldn’t stand to see the imagined disappointment on their faces.  I ran the Christmas present opening scenarios in my head and shopped for the best outcome. I hated every minute of the soulless purchasing and tried to redeem myself by only buying useful or purposeful items.

Let me say it is so easy to get lost in the modern materialism of Christmas, losing sight of the simplest values which need to be our moral compass. When we think about our core values, they would likely reflect the qualities of kindness, thoughtfulness, love, honesty, creativity and sharing just to name a few. So instead of buying a lot of stuff you don’t need this year consider:

• Doing acts of kindness for others - a person on your street may need help with weeding, dog walking or an occasional meal, involve your family with helping.
• Give a creative gift - something you have made (food, craft or art), exchange poems or important messages of love for each other accompanying the gift.
• Really consider what the other person would get a lot of use from and find precious before you buy anything, and personalise it from you somehow.
• Think of some heartwarming family traditions that you can start. Games that you can always play, songs you sing, play perform or dance together.
• Build a little table scene with your child that celebrates this time of year and what is special for your family. Collect objects from nature to decorate the table that personify this time of year.
• Spend quality time together that isn’t rushed or dominated by adults. Try to remember how to be playful and have innocent fun again.
• Tell important stories from your childhood of joy and fun, who you were when you were little and what you liked doing. Ask other extended family members to share some of their childhood experiences either written or orally.
• Involve everyone in helping to prepare food and cleaning up. Children need to see that tasks are not gendered, just part of what a family does together.
• Have everyone make wishes for others or describe what they know best about each other.
• Make present opening after breakfast and sharing wishes for the day so the focus isn’t on what you get its how we share.

These are just a few ideas and to let you know its okay not to get caught up in consumerism and the Christmas crazy of overindulgence. It doesn’t make you a bad parent and your child isn’t being deprived. You are instilling simple values.

May you be your own curator of a peaceful and restorative holiday season this year.

Sandy - Karri Kindy Teacher